so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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