We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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