she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
