doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
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No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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