kristin has been a bad kristin
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
