my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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