for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
