I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
is it fun? or sober?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
