you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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