It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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