Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
