He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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