Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
