Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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