i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
