The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
