Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
