Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
