once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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