There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
