Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
