Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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