Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
