You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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