he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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