In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Who died my cat blue again?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
