don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
