you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
