Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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