My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
