Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
