If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
A bitchslap is in order.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
