ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
