She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
