I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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