You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
