lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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