My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Two words: blizzard sex
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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