This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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