So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
