Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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