I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
