I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she pinky promised me she was 18
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
