How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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