My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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