a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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