just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
