I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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