I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
