just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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