I didn't shave. On purpose
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
pray to the hookup gods
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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