we have officially lost it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Everyone says I win the strip club
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
