i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
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I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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