i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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