He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize