ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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