The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
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so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
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I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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