okay pat passed out under dana's car
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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