somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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