Yo dont text me then not text me
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My penis needs a shock collar
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.