Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.