Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me