dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way